Our Miracle Baby.

People keep asking us if we plan on having more children after this one. And our response is, of course, that we don't know. That has to do with the fact that we honestly don't know. We might think that one is enough for us and our family, but it also has a little to do with my medical condition. Which is why our little Precious One is sorta our little miracle baby.

I have an illness called PCO or PCOS (poly cystic ovaries / poly cystic ovarian syndrome).

A brief explanation:
It is an illness where hundreds of small, tiny cysts grow on the ovaries. They release hormones and affect hormones within the body, so that it doesn't exactly function how it should.

One major symptom is: Infertility.

Not many people can say that they are truly overweight because of a medical illness.. but I can.
The PCOS causes my body to not be able to break down glucose and fat the way that it is supposed to, and my body stores it when it should burn it.

There is no cure, and no direct medication for PCOS. Many women take different kinds of hormonal medicines to try to lessen the different symptoms that one can have. Some women have all symptoms, some have only a few. But being overweight is the common symptom that everyone has.

The weight issue is such a problem with PCOS, that many women with it CANNOT lose weight on their own, and most that go down in weight, do so by having gastric bypass surgery. (Which I have thought about seriously 2 times in the past.) So, for me to have lost 100 pounds (45 kg) in one year - on my own - is nothing short of a miracle on its own.

My first symptoms showed up when I was 17-18, but the illness was pretty much unknown at that time.
I was diagnosed when I was 20-21, and at this time, the illness was still extremely new.
My doctor put me on 2000 mg of Glucophage per day. And the medicine made me incredibly sick. It is a fertility drug that the doctor thought would help the hormonal problems. It didn't help, of course, and it made me so sick, that it caused me to stay inside all the time, and in turn, gain more weight from my inactiveness (what happened to me after I moved to Sweden).

I stopped taking the pills and suffered a horrible change in my menstrual cycle. When we moved to Nyköping, my GYN put me on an incredible pill that fixed my cycle (which drastically changed my life quality). I decided to forgo any kind of medication to help my PCOS.

About the weight issue:
I tried, twice, to go to a bariatric clinic in Stockholm, but was twice refused.

The first time, the doctor sent the application, and it was denied.
The second time, I went to a different doctor, and he sent an application along with lots of blood tests. This time I was also denied.

My problem is that I am/was too healthy, so they wouldn't help me. It was a clinic where you go and spend 2 weeks there and they go over many things with you and do many tests and decide the best way for each individual to lose weight, whether it be a change in diet, surgery, or medication. But they wouldn't even see me. All my tests were too good. Especially considering that I don't have diabetes, which is almost always a definite symptom of PCOS. So, that was really depressing for me, because I really wanted help. (That was when we were in Stockholm.)

We moved to Nyköping and I started losing weight on my own. With a lot of determination. I really never changed the way I ate - as that was not the problem. My problem was that I became immobile after moving to Sweden. People would look, people would stare, when I would go outside - and that made it worse. Then I only wanted to sit inside and then I would just gain more weight from not doing anything. And I finally told myself to not care what people think, and I spent all day on our exercise bike, and took a long walk every evening. It took several months for anything to happen (probably my body fighting the whole thing). And then I started going to school again and that helped me a lot with confidence because I made so many friends. And it made me want to go outside and go to school - so it was then very easy to continue losing weight.

After a year of losing weight, I was up for my annual GYN appointment, but I was already pregnant. Something I was certain could never happen. We had talked about adopting. I was getting ready to talk to my GYN about fertility treatment. If I had to go on a time-waiting list, or if I would be able to skip that process because of my medical condition.

My GYN knew from the previous appointment that I was trying to lose weight and when he saw me he was ecstatically happy. And even happier when we saw the ultrasound for the first time. (Maybe even happier than we were?!?) :)

I think that is why I was so heart broken that first midwife appointment in Nyköping when the midwife complained about my weight. After all the work of losing weight, and still being overweight, and having an illness that causes infertility - you would think she would be happy for us that we are pregnant and not complain about me losing more weight. I think that is why I was so sad - I was expecting her to be as happy as my GYN.

But luckily we have had an incredible midwife here in Åmål. Wouldn't trade her for anything.

So, even with me still being overweight and thinking I would never get pregnant on my own - we are having our little miracle baby. :) So, we might not be able to get pregnant again, because of the PCOS (even if I lose more weight - the PCOS is here to stay and will always cause problems).

So, if we ever decide we DO want more children, but medically can't, we will definitely adopt. But right now, I think we are going to be very content with our Karl-Astrid. :) Of course Fredrik, being the optimist that he is, didn't think it would be impossible for us to have children.. :) But I can definitely say that we are probably the two happiest people on Earth. :)

We've had the opportunity of experiencing every part of a relationship together. :)
Being engaged, and then the time of being married with just the two of us, and now with being pregnant these last 9 months, and now we get to enter a new and different part: having a baby. :/ :)))